“Zacchaeus was a wee little man and a wee little man was he!” Sorry I couldn’t resist. As Pastor Mike finished his series on Authentic Friendships he hit on the wee little man Zacchaeus who Jesus purposefully engaged on his way through Jericho. Using the story of Jesus and Zaccaheus, Mike shared how like Jesus we need to intentionally give a “God TOUCH” to our friends and people we encounter. We need to Take time to connect; Get Outside the box; Understand their need; invite them to Church; and give them Hope. As followers of Christ we must live intentionally as he did. On his way through Jericho he didn’t have to stop and engage Zacaheus in conversation but he did. He didn’t have to go to his house and sit down and eat with him but he did. He didn’t have to share with and challenge him on how he was living in light of God’s grace but he did. How about you? Have you been avoiding having God conversations with your friends? I definitely don’t believe we should bash our friends with the gospel but at the same time our love for God ought to override our fear of offending our friend. You and I have the hope of the world living inside of us in Jesus Christ. But if we’re not intentional in how we live and the relationships we have then too often we never share the hope we’ve received. Somebody had to share with you, what if God wants you to be that somebody who shares with your friend. What keeps us from living life intentionally? What keeps us not just from sharing our faith with our friends, but what keeps us from living each day on God’s agenda and not our own? I guess an even better question is what are some things you have done or could do to live more intentionally?
Archive for March, 2010
If there is a friendship that is the perfect picture of all the things Pastor Mike has been sharing over the past several weeks, it is the relationship between Barnabas and Paul. Let’s look closely at this relationship.
Barnabas, (whose real name was Joseph) was a Levite and was from Cyprus. He was called “Barnabas” by the apostles because of his attitude of encouragement and comforting. Acts 4:36.
Paul ( whose real name was Saul) was a devout Jew, who started persecuting the church but while on the way to Damascus, Jesus spoke to him and eventually Paul became an apostle to the Gentiles. After his repentance and acceptance of Jesus as the Messiah, he began to preach in the synagogues. This angered the Jews and they tried to kill him. He left Damascus and went to Jerusalem to meet with the Apostles. Acts 9:23-26
The Apostles were not excited about meeting him, but Barnabas stood up for Paul and became his friend. Does this remind you of a characteristic that Mike talked about last week or the type of friend Mike shared about several weeks ago?
Paul afterwards head to his home town in Tarsus and because of what God was doing in the area of Antioch – the apostles send Barnabas to check things out. Barnabas sees how God is at work in this Gentile village and decides the stay there. God continues to work through Barnabas and the church grew under his leadership. Acts 11:19-24
Barnabas needs assistance and travels to Tarsus to get Paul. (Again – think through what Mike has shared about the types of friends). They stayed there a year and when the church heard about a famine in Judea – the church collected money and sent Paul and Barnabas to Jerusalem with the gift offering. After delivering the donation they went back to Antioch and this time they brought a young man named Mark. While they were ministering in Antioch, the Holy Spirit urges the fellowship to send Paul and Barnabas on their first missionary journey. They also take Mark with them but for some reason Mark bails out and heads back to Jerusalem. (Barnabas was a risk taker with his friendship) Acts 13:13-14
God continues to bless the friendship of Paul and Barnabas and does great things during this missionary journey. They return to Antioch but hear how some Jewish Christians wanted the Gentile believers to also adhere to Jewish customs. They left for Jerusalem where the Apostles and Church leaders welcome Paul and Barnabas with open arms. (See how friendships continue to expand?)
The church leaders hear about the wonderful things God is doing among the Gentiles and decided not to burden them with Jewish customs; they send Paul and Barnabas along with some other men back to Antioch to share the news.
Unfortunately confrontation begins to occur in the friendship between Paul and Barnabas. The first thing in scripture could be easily missed but it is found in one of Paul’s letters. Paul shares how he had to correct some hypocritical actions with Peter and “even” Barnabas when some Jewish believers came to Antioch. Peter and Barnabas decided not to eat with the Gentile believers. This confrontation still stayed with Paul years later as he writes to the Galatians. Gal 2:13
The second confrontation was shortly afterwards when Paul and Barnabas decided to go back and visit the churches God started through them during the first missionary journey. Barnabas wants to take Mark again but this caused a sharp disagreement between Paul and Barnabas and they went different ways.
Our personalities can cause these confrontations – Barnabas was always forgiving and encouraging. Paul used the same tenacity he had when persecuting the church with his sharing about God’s love and sacrifice.
Dr. Luke does not mention Barnabas again but Paul refers to both Barnabas and Mark in his letters. This leads one to believe that their relationships were restored.
Later, Paul commends his readers to:
1) Do not let the sun go down on your anger (Eph 4:26)
2) And, He instructs the Philippians church to help two other believers to work out their differences (Phil 4:2-3)
This was a long post but I hope you could see through this friendship all the things God has shared through Pastor Mike and about working through problems in relationships.
Are there areas that you need to forgive and restore?
See ya Sunday –
You knew this was coming… Mike has been discussing in the past weeks about how to be a friend and how to look for good friends – but now the subject changed. Now Mike hits closer to home than we would care to discuss. Always in friendships there seems to be disagreements. We say something wrong or we take something that was said wrong. When we start getting closer in our friendship we tend to show our true selves and this causes disagreements to occur. In marriage – this is a given! How we deal with those confrontations will ultimately decide whether our friendship grows or dissolves.
Before we get too far into this week of discussions, I had to laugh quietly when Mike shared a passage from Proverbs 9:21(NIV) “Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.” I also like how the Message translated this verse – “Better to live alone in a tumbledown shack than share a mansion with a nagging spouse”
What made me laugh was the fact this came from a “wise man” that ended up having “seven hundred royal wives and three hundred concubines—a thousand women in all!” (1 Kings 11:3) 
Mike started of using the disagreement between Paul and Barnabas. Later on this week I want to share a little more about their friendship from how it got started to the end– but as a kick off – Here is a couple of questions for you to answer either in the blog or to yourself –
We all have dealt with confrontations in our friendships – recall the last time this happened to you.
What was the confrontation about?
Was it because of one or more of the six actions/ attitudes that Mike shared with us?
How did you handle it or how did it end?
Check back later this week (Tuesday or Wednesday) for the “rest of the story” on the friendship of Paul and Barnabas.
As I was listening to Mike share about the nine characteristics for a good friendship, I started to think of folks for almost every characteristic either in my life or some I’ve read in the Bible… I’m not one for getting close to a lot folks. My wife is my very best friend, but I do try and there are some that I share some of these characteristics with. I’m going to share my thoughts – You are welcome to share also…
1 – Mutual Interest – I thank God for friends like Dump Harper – we both have interests in seeing students come to know God deeper
2 – Desire to give more than receive – Linda and I are real good friends with Lee and Renee Vernon, They also have a the same mutual interest as with Dump, but they always are willing to continue to give their all to other students and people without ever looking for something in return.
3 – A willingness to take risks- there are a lot of folks that have taken risks with helping and supporting me- a lot of them – I can’t even remember all their names – only their faces. There is an excellent example of a person taking a risk. In chapter 15 of Acts, Paul and Barnabas were getting ready for their second missionary journey. Barnabas wanted to take Mark, but Paul strongly disagreed because Mark had deserted them during their first trip. Paul ended up taking Silas with him while Barnabas took Mark in a different direction. We do not know much about the trip with Barnabas and Mark but later on we read in one of Paul’s letters that apparently the risk paid off and eventually Paul reunited with Mark and became one of Paul’s trusted friends.
4 – Vulnerability – When I think of this characteristic, the first person that comes to mind is the student pastor of a student ministry called “Youth Ranch”. My family was falling apart, Dale – the pastor, sat with me on a bridge as we were fishing all night and listened to me share my hurts and frustrations with what was going on. There was nothing he or I could do to change things but he provided an ear to listen and biblical guidance that helped get me through.
5 – Attitude of service – I see this a lot with many of my friends but I have to share about two guys that I admire a lot. You probably know them, at least by face. They are two students in my 11th/12th grade small group. Landon and Blake. They serve in our music ministry playing the bass guitar and drums. With school and other teenage activities going on all around them –these guys have stayed committed and I appreciate their service… ( You know, as Dump mentioned several Sunday’s ago – we have a lot of students and former students that continue to serve)
6 – A willingness to forgive – One of the best examples of this is found in the book of Job. You know the story, Job lost it all. He also had three so-called friends that continued to give him some bad advice. God was displeased with these guys but God would forgive them if they went back to Job for forgiveness and offered their sacrifices. Job could have turned away from them but in Job 42:10 Job forgave and “prayed for his friends”.
7 – Acceptance of Criticism and Praise – You know you have a true friend when they are willing to listen to your criticism and also when they praise you. My wife is the best example of this… She has a unique way of reminding me when I start to get off track but she is always lifting me up in word and action. I thank God for my wife!
8 – Commitment to Development – The relationship between Peter and Jesus was awesome. I can relate easily to Peter – willing to jump in without asking and the unfortunate ability to speak before thinking. But despite Peter’s failures, Jesus was there to forgive and encourage. Jesus has done the same thing in my life more than I can count.
9 – Focus on Faith – I would not say that Pastor Mike is my closest friend – it is hard for a pastor to be a close friend to everyone in the church – but the one thing I thank God for is our friendship and his love and encouragement to my wife and kids. Mike’s focus is for all of us to grow in a deeper relationship with our Lord and God…
Ok – now it is your turn. I know that some of us have already shared about different friends but maybe you are like me and each week, God brings other folks to mind who have taken the time to be friends with you…
Maybe God is speaking to you about becoming a friend with someone new.
As Mike shared at the end, “Friendships are risky business”
Pastor Mike shared six areas we should observe in our friends to determine if they are the type of friends we need to be close to. They were –
1. Listen to what they say – Do they lift you up or are they tearing others down in front of you? If so – then they may be tearing you down in front of others
2. Watch how they respond to different situations – Their behavior will eventually affect your attitude.
3. Notice how they respond to authority – do they respect or shun authority
4. Are they selfish – me first?
5. What is their attitude and thoughts about sex?
6. Do they constantly act foolish and make foolish decisions?
We should use these six observations with evaluating our current and potential friends. But as you are doing this observation on your friends – remember the old saying … where there is one finger pointing at others there are three fingers pointing back at me…
How do others view you in these six areas? Nobody is perfect, but though the power of the Holy Spirit, God can begin to mold us according to the fruits of the Spirit…
Friendship, like marriage is a two way street.. How are you doing?
See Ya Sunday!
Pastor Mike shared that at different times in our lives, our friendships will be different… We will meet friends that God brings along for a certain reason. “This friend was a God-send”.
Have you ever experienced this type of friendship or was there a time when God used you to be friend to someone else for a reason?
Another type of friendship is becoming friends for a season. Examples are school friends, friends in a certain city or neighborhood before you or they moved away, work related friendships… etc. You may come in contact with them again down the road but for some reason there is normally a separation and we move on.
Has this happened to you? What caused the separation?
The third type of friendship is those friendships that last a life time. This could be your spouse and/or another person that you remain in contact with continually. This type of friendship is a true treasure and from these friendships we learn commitment, loyalty and companionship.
Do you have a treasured lifelong friend? If so – share with us some stories about this person.
I’ll post some more questions later on this week – but I want to share a story about a friend that could fit in either the first type or second. When Linda and I got married I also started working for Duke Energy (At that time it was Duke Power). There was an older gentleman that I worked with and he was always kind and encouraging. There were also times he was also like a dad and telling me to work things out and stop complaining. About about three or four years later, Duke was reducing workforce and we were either going to be laid off or transferred. I was worried about being laid off. He knew I professed to at least be a Christian. One day, after listening to me sharing my concerns, he walked up to me and very quietly said… “Marty, I saw something on a bill board that you need to hear… It said – Do you pray – why worry? Do you worry – then why pray?”
This man retired and I was transferred to McGuire, but to this day I still remembered how God used him at that time in my life.
As we continue this week – Do you remember the passage Mike used from the New Testament? It is a small letter Paul wrote to a dear friend who held church in his home. (Philemon) – Paul’s letter hit upon the three effects positive relationships can have in our lives. A positive relationship will bring delight in our lives, work to develop me to become more like Christ and drive me to pursue the goals that God has for my life.
My wife does all these things and many more. That is because she is my best friend, but there are other friends in my life that continue to have the same effect on me….
Here is your chance to brag about one or several of your positive friendships and how they have delighted, developed and driven you to be the person you are today.
We started a new series – “Authentic Friendships in a Facebook World”
First let’s break the ice If you are on Facebook, how many friends do you have? (For those not on facebook – take a guess at how many friends you think you have)
How many of those friends do you talk or chat with at least once a month?
Now think about this – If you dropped off of Facebook (or for those not on Facebook – you stopped associating/communicating with them) – how many of your friends would find another way to communicate with you and see what is going on?
I would like to discuss the positives and negatives of friendships you’ve had. How we relate to our own personal friends and how open we are to making new friends is influenced by the impact of our previous and current friendships.
We start off looking at the negative impacts and later on this week we will focus on the positive.. ( I like to end the week with a good note )
Mike mentioned that negative friendship can impact us by disappointing, distressing, discouraging and/or destroying us. Have you observed or faced a negative friendship (please keep it general and do not mention names or talk about relationships).
Here are some things to talk about…
1) How did the friendship began?
2) When did you notice that the friendship was turning negative?
3) How did it end?
